My Bad!

My Bad!

I'm taking this part of my life as if I'm living in a dream,

I've got no money, no job and nothing in between.

I sleep rough in the cold and most nights in the rain,

I feel like a lonely animal, Sleeping alone on the plain.

I'll be walking all day tomorrow, Trying to find a hole or a dive.

I've got to find somewhere today, before the clock reaches five.

Would you call me a tramp, Or just down on my luck?

I think both at this time and can never feel unstuck.

It's getting to me now, The depressions fucking up my head,

All I can ever think, Is it would be better to be dead.

Dying isn't an option, It would be hard to leave the planet

But everyday gets a bit harder and I think 'Oh no God damn it'.

I know I'm going to do it, My life I will take

But not until the final day, The day that I break.

I'm just holding on, On to just that glimmer of hope,

While trying not to fall down, Showing people that I've broke.

I hold my head high, With the lives that are good,

I just try to laugh along, Just as those other lives would.

Although a brave face is really hard, To conceal from the rest,

It's starting to feel it is showing, I feel I'll never pass the Lords test.

God won't let me part, He's making me suffer the pain.

He doesn't want my soul, After all there is nothing to gain.

He just makes me wander this world, Knowing nothing will give.

While I make my life barefacedly more unbearable to live.

I know tonight I will wake, Feeling tucked up in bed,

Although instead I will wake, Freezing and shivering instead.

Thinking fuck this shit, I can't take it no more,

I jump from a bridge, To knock on Gods door.

I give the door a knock, Having the chance I give it a good kick,

He answers real quickly holding some sort of big stick.

I start with by saying, ''You could of helped me out a bit,

Instead of leaving my life in turmoil, In this great deal of shit!

He looks at me sharply, Although without any dismay,

As I instantly realise, I've just thrown my life away.

His voice echoes out,''It's not me my friend it's you now fuck off!!

As I wake aside the river bank with a splutter and a cough.

by George Jeffries